The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
