Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
