what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
