I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Two words: blizzard sex
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
