He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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