Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
