So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
