I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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