why didn't you poke me back
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
