I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize