So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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