i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Still dying that you shit outside
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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