if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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