Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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