can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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