Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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