You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
