Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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