Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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