Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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