My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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