I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I want is dick and wine.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
