Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
