talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
