Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
