I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
