Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
