quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
