Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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