She is in my trunk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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