Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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