Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we're chasing vodka with high fives
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
