My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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