Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
