we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
