god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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