Me. At least after what I've been through.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
