Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
