Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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