the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
