D3 body, D1 cock
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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