your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
