Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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