Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The adults are the big ones right?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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