I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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