Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it's like iHOP with fire
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
