we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
