You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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