I wish I could punch you in the face.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
