doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
