glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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