Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
