i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
