I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
