thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
