youre lurking in front of me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize