so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize