New invention idea: vibrating tampons
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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