he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
