Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
