Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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