Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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