Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
