yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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