you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
