Dignity is for republicans.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize