is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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