Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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