I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
