I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
