So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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